The Hardest Truth

Tonite at Cornerstone I was hit by this strange epiphany.

I am denying my own success.

Sounds absurd, right? Well, let me explain.

Let's rewind... Patrick read from 2 Corinthians 4. You know, that whole thing about a treasure on some ordinary jars; Something so precious stored in plain sight - in the most ordinary and common containers.

Stop. Did you catch that? The most precious thing in the history of EVER is held in a vessel that everyone has access to, or already has in their possession.

Then, there came a story about a little boy in Africa who was getting water for his family. The well is around 2 miles away. Now, the jar the kid was using was old, full of holes, and barely worth keeping to most people. As he walked home he would leak water everywhere. When he got back to his village, he didn't have much left inside.

He went to the leader of the village and expressed his feeling of failure. Mr Village Master walked with the boy back along the path. You could tell that the boy had been making this journey quite a while. When the head of the village saw the route the boy takes, he pointed out all of the flowers and plants that have begun to grow along the path. In what the boy thought was failure actually sprouted new life. Something unexpected. Something beautiful.

Freakin' amazing!

So, what does this have to do with my denial of success? Check it out.

I am that person that comes up with random and sometimes brilliant ideas about anything and everything from pranks to object lessons, to a sweet ministry. I can't tell you how many I've had or been a part of in the past 5 months. However, there's one that just seems to be elusive from my grasp, but it won't leave me alone! I can't shake the idea of doing it no matter how much I cry out to the Lord. It's one I think that was created just for me, but somehow I deny it's truth. Yeah, it's a dream. Yeah, it's huge. Like, bigger than just finding a steady 9-5. But seriously...

I was talking to probably the most amazing man I know about it. He told me that dreams are meant to be chased. He gave me this fantastic idea that I should hand deliver my 2nd letter. When I heard this, my stomach dropped. I can't travel right now. I need to finish school. I need to do this. I need to get that. I came up with more excuses in about 2 minutes than I ever have before for anything. And that's when I realized I had a problem (Hello, my name is Jelly, and I have a problem... I admit it!).

Then tonite I was hit with the truth that I am an ordinary package with an extraordinary gift inside. I am that jar of clay. This dream I have been given is exactly what Paul talks about in I Corinthians 1:

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."

I have read that over and over for the past couple of years. I never under stood why I am so drawn to it until about 20 minutes ago when I put all the coffee in my system to good use. I am that average small-town girl with a big task a head. I trust in the guidance and wisdom of the Lord.

From that, I will be lead into the fire. Refined over and over again until that day where I will be tossed into something beyond my wildest dreams. Will I be scared? Uh, yeah. Nervous? More than likely. But I'll be ready. I can hardly wait! Until then, I will sit and praise the Lord with everything I have to offer.

Praise be to the Lord of heaven and earth who tends to his flock with grace and mercy! May his kingdom forever reign!

Amen